TREATS OF QUEEKER AND OTHERS ­ALSO OF YOUTHFUL JEALOUSY, LOVE, POETRY, AND CONFUSION OF IDEAS.

Returning, now, to the moon-struck and Katie-smitten Queeker, we find that poetic individual walking disconsolately in front of Mr George Durant’s mansion.

In a previous chapter it has been said that, after composing his celebrated lines to the lantern of the floating light, he resolved to drop in upon the Durants about tea-time ­and well did Queeker know their tea-time, although, every time he went there uninvited, the miserable hypocrite expressed surprise at finding them engaged with that meal, and said he had supposed they must have finished tea by that time!

But, on arriving at the corner of the street, his fluttering heart failed him.  The thought of the cousin was a stumbling-block which he could not surmount.  He had never met her before; he feared that she might be witty, or sarcastic, or sharp in some way or other, and would certainly make game of him in the presence of Katie.  He had observed this cousin narrowly at the singing-class, and had been much impressed with her appearance; but whether this impression was favourable or unfavourable was to him, in the then confused state of his feelings, a matter of great uncertainty.  Now that he was about to face her, he felt convinced that she must be a cynic, who would poison the mind of Katie against him, and no power within his unfortunate body was capable of inducing him to advance and raise the knocker.

Thus he hung in torments of suspense until nine o’clock, when ­in a fit of desperation, he rushed madly at the door and committed himself by hitting it with his fist.

His equanimity was not restored by its being opened by Mr Durant himself.

“Queeker!” exclaimed the old gentleman in surprise; “come in, my dear sir; did you stumble against the door?  I hope you haven’t hurt yourself?”

“Not at all ­a ­no, not at all; the fact is, I ran up the steps rather hastily, and ­how do you do, Miss Durant?  I hope you are quite well?”

Poor Queeker said this and shook hands with as much earnestness as if he had not seen Katie for five years.

“Quite well, thank you.  My cousin, Fanny Hennings ­Mr Queeker.”

Fanny bowed and Mr Queeker bowed, and, with a flushed countenance, asked her about the state of her health with unnatural anxiety.

“Thank you, Mr Squeeker, I am very well,” replied Fanny.

The unhappy youth would have corrected her in regard to his name, but hesitated and missed the opportunity, and when, shortly afterwards, while engaged in conversation with Mr Durant, he observed Fanny giggling violently in a corner by herself, he felt assured that Katie had kindly made the correction for him.

The announcement of supper relieved him slightly, and he was beginning to calm down over a piece of bread and cheese when the door-bell rang.  Immediately after a heavy foot was heard in the passage, the parlour door was flung open, the maid announced Mr Hall, and a tall elegant young man entered the room.  His figure was slender, but his chest was deep and his shoulders were broad and square.  An incipient moustache of fair hair floated like a summer cloud on his upper lip, which expanded with a hearty smile as he advanced towards Mr Durant and held out his hand.

“You have forgotten me, I fear,” he said.

“Forgotten you!” exclaimed the old gentleman, starting up and seizing the young man’s hand, which he shook violently ­“forgotten Stanley Hall ­little Stanney, as I used to call you?  Man, how you are grown, to be sure.  What a wonderful change!”

“For the worse, I fear!” exclaimed the youth, laughing.

“Come, no fishing for compliments, sir.  Let me introduce you to my daughter Katie, my niece Fanny Hennings, and my young friend Queeker.  Now, then, sit down, and make yourself at home; you’re just in time; we’ve only just begun; ring the bell for another plate, Katie.  How glad I am to see you, Stanney, my boy ­I can’t call you by any other than the old name, you see.  How did you leave your father, and what brings you here?  Come, out with it all at once.  I declare you have quite excited me.”

Well was it for poor Queeker that every one was too much occupied with the newcomer to pay any attention to him, for he could not prevent his visage from betraying something of the feelings which harrowed up his soul.  The moment he set eyes on Stanley Hall, mortal jealousy ­keen, rampant, virulent jealousy of the worst type ­penetrated every fibre of his being, and turned his heart to stone!  We cannot afford space to detail the various shades of agony, the degrees of despair, through which this unfortunate young man passed during that evening.  A thick volume would not suffice to contain it all.  Language is powerless to express it.  Only those who have similarly suffered can conceive it.

Of course, we need scarcely add that there was no occasion for jealousy.  Nothing was further from the mind of Stanley than the idea of falling in love with Katie.  Nevertheless, politeness required that he should address himself to her occasionally.  At such times, Queeker’s soul was stabbed in an unutterable manner.  He managed to command himself, notwithstanding.  To his credit, be it said, that he refrained from using the carving-knife.  He even joined with some show of interest (of course hypocritical) in the conversation.

Stanley Hall was not only good-looking, but good-humoured, and full of quiet fun and anecdote, so that he quickly ingratiated himself with all the members of the family.

“D’you know it makes me feel young again to hear these old stories about your father’s college-life,” said Mr Durant.  “Have some more cheese, Stanney ­you look like a man who ought to have a good appetite ­fill your glass and pass the bottle ­thanks.  Now, how comes it that you have turned up in this out-of-the-way part of the world?  By-the-bye, I hope you intend to stay some time, and that you will take up your quarters with me?  You can’t imagine how much pleasure it would give me to have the son of my old companion as a guest for some time.  I’m sure that Katie joins me heartily in this hope.”

Queeker’s spirit sank with horror, and when Katie smilingly seconded her father’s proposal, his heart stood still with dismay.  Fanny Hennings, who had begun to suspect that there was something wrong with Queeker, put her handkerchief to her mouth, and coughed with what appeared to be unreasonable energy.

“I regret,” said Stanley (and Queeker’s breath came more freely), “that my stay must necessarily be short.  I need not say that it would afford me the highest pleasure to accept your kind invitation” (he turned with a slight bow to Katie, and Queeker almost fainted), “but the truth is, that I have come down on a particular piece of business, in regard to which I wish to have your advice, and must return to London to-morrow or next day at furthest.”

Queeker’s heart resumed its office.

“I am sorry to hear that ­very sorry.  However, you shall stay to-night at all events; and you shall have the best advice I can give you on any subject you choose to mention.  By the way talking of advice, you’re an M.D. now, I fancy?”

“Not yet,” replied Stanley.  “I am not quite fledged, although nearly so, and I wish to go on a voyage before completing my course.”

“Quite right, quite right ­see a little of life first, eh?  But how comes it, Stanney, that you took kindly to the work at last, for, when I knew you first you could not bear the idea of becoming a doctor?”

“One’s ideas change, I suppose,” replied the youth, with a smile, ­“probably my making the discovery that I had some talent in that direction had something to do with it.”

“H’m; how did you make that discovery, my boy?” asked the old gentleman.

“That question can’t easily be answered except by my inflicting on you a chapter of my early life,” replied Stanley, laughing.

“Then inflict it on us without delay, my boy.  I shall delight to listen, and so, I am sure, will Katie and Fanny.  As to my young friend Queeker, he is of a somewhat literary turn, and may perhaps throw the incidents into verse, if they are of a sufficiently romantic character!”

Katie and Fanny declared they would be charmed to hear about it, and Queeker said, in a savagely jesting tone, that he was so used to things being inflicted on him, that he didn’t mind ­rather liked it than otherwise!

“But you must not imagine,” said Stanley, “that I have a thrilling narrative to give you, I can merely relate the two incidents which fixed my destiny in regard to a profession.  You remember, I daresay, that my heart was once set upon going to sea.  Well, like most boys, I refused to listen to advice on that point, and told my father that I should never make a surgeon ­that I had no taste or talent for the medical profession.  The more my father tried to reason me out of my desire, the more obstinate I became.  The only excuse that I can plead is that I was very young, very ignorant, and very stupid.  One day, however, I was left in the surgery with a number of dirty phials to wash ­my father having gone to visit a patient at a short distance, when our servant came running in, saying that there was a cab at the door with a poor boy who had got his cheek badly cut.  As I knew that my father would be at home in less than quarter of an hour, I ordered him to be brought in.  The poor child ­a little delicate boy ­was very pale, and bleeding profusely from a deep gash in the cheek, made accidentally by a knife with which he had been playing.  The mouth was cut open almost to the ear.  We laid him on a sofa, and I did what I could to stop the flow of blood.  I was not sixteen at the time, and, being very small for my age, had never before felt myself in a position to offer advice, and indeed I had not much to offer.  But one of the bystanders said to me while we were looking at the child, ­

“`What do you think should be done, sir?’

“The mere fact of being asked my opinion gratified my vanity, and the respectful `sir’ with which the question concluded caused my heart to beat high with unwonted emotion.  It was the first time I had ever been addressed gravely as a man; it was a new sensation, and I think may be regarded as an era in my existence.

“With much gravity I replied that of course the wound ought to be sewed up.

“`Then sooner it’s done the better, I think,’ said the bystander, `for the poor child will bleed to death if it is allowed to go on like that.’

“A sudden resolution entered into my mind.  I stroked my chin and frowned, as if in deep thought, then, turning to the man who had spoken, said, ­`It ought certainly to be done with as little delay as possible; I expect my father to return every minute; but as it is an urgent case, I will myself undertake it, if the parents of the child have no objection.’

“`Seems to me, lad,’ remarked a country fellow, who had helped to carry the child in, `that it beant a time to talk o’ parients objectin’ w’en the cheeld’s blood’n to deth.  Ye’d better fa’ to work at once ­if ’ee knows how.’

“I cast upon this man a look of scorn, but made no reply.  Going to the drawer in which the surgical instruments were kept, I took out those that suited my purpose, and went to work with a degree of coolness which astonished myself.  I had often seen my father sew up wounds, and had assisted at many an operation of the kind, so that, although altogether unpractised, I was not ignorant of the proper mode of procedure.  The people looked on with breathless interest.  When I had completed the operation, I saw my father looking over the shoulders of the people with an expression of unutterable surprise not unmingled with amusement.  I blushed deeply, and began some sort of explanation, which, however, he cut short by observing in an off-hand manner, that the thing had been done very well, and the child had better be carried into my bedroom and left there to rest for some time.  He thus got the people out of the surgery, and then, when we were alone, told me that I was a born surgeon, that he could not have done it much better himself, and, in short, praised me to such an extent that I felt quite proud of my performance.”

Queeker, who had listened up to this point with breathless attention, suddenly said ­

“D’you mean to say that you really did that?”

“I do,” replied Stanley with an amused smile.

“Sewed up a mouth cut all the way to the ear?”

“Yes.”

“With a ­a ­”

“With a needle and thread,” said Stanley.

Queeker’s powers of utterance were paralysed.  He looked at the young doctor with a species of awe-stricken admiration.  Jealousy, for the time, was in abeyance.

“This, then, was the beginning of your love for the profession?” said Mr Durant.

“Undoubtedly it was, but a subsequent event confirmed me in my devotion to it, and induced me to give up all thoughts of the sea.  The praise that I had received from my father ­who was not usually lavish of complimentary remarks ­made me ambitious to excel in other departments of surgery, so I fixed upon the extraction of teeth as my next step in the profession.  My father had a pretty large practice in that way.  We lived, as you remember, in the midst of a populous rural district, and had frequent visits from farm servants and labourers with heads tied up and lugubrious faces.

“I began to fit myself for duty by hammering big nails into a block of wood, and drawing them out again.  This was a device of my own, for I wished to give my father another surprise, and did not wish to betray what I was about, by asking his advice as to how I should proceed.  I then extracted the teeth from the jaw-bones of all the sheep’s-heads that I could lay hands on; after a good deal of practice in this way, I tried to tempt our cook with an offer of five shillings to let me extract a back tooth which had caused her a great deal of suffering at intervals for many months; but she was a timid woman, and would not have allowed me for five guineas, I believe, even to look into her mouth.  I also tried to tempt our small stable-boy with a similar sum.  He was a plucky little fellow, and, although there was not an unsound tooth in his head, agreed to let me draw one of the smallest of his back teeth for seven and sixpence if it should come out the first pull, and sixpence for every extra rug!  I thought the little fellow extravagant in his demands, but, rather than lose the chance, submitted.  He sat down quite boldly on our operating chair, but grew pale when I advanced with the instrument; when I tried to open his mouth, he began to whimper, and finally, struggling out of my grasp, fled.  I afterwards gave him sixpence, however, for affording me, as I told him, so much pleasurable anticipation.

“After this I cast about for another subject, but failed to procure a live one.  It occurred to me, however, that I might try my hand on two skeletons that hung in our garret, so I got their heads off without delay, and gradually extracted every tooth in their jaws.  As there were about sixty teeth, I think, in each pair, I felt myself much improved before the jaws were toothless.  At last, I resolved to take advantage of the first opportunity that should offer, during my father’s absence, to practise on the living subject.  It was not long before I had a chance.

“One morning my father went out, leaving me in the surgery, as was his wont.  I was deeply immersed in a book on anatomy, when I heard a tremendous double rap ­as if made with the head of a stick ­at the outer door, and immediately after the question put in the gruff bass voice of an Irishman, `Is the dactur within?’

“A tremendous growl of disappointment followed the reply.  Then, after a pause, `Is the assistant within?’ This was followed by a heavy tread in the passage and, next moment; an enormous man, in very ragged fustian, with a bronzed hairy face, and a reaping-hook under his arm, stood in the surgery, his head almost touching the ceiling.

“`Sure it’s niver the dactur’s assistant ye are?’ he exclaimed, with a look of surprise.

“I rose, drew myself up, and, endeavouring to look very solemn, said that I was, and demanded to know if I could do anything for him.

“`Ah, then, it’s a small assistant ye are, anyhow,’ he remarked; but stopped suddenly and his huge countenance was convulsed with pain, as he clapped his hand to his face, and uttered a groan, which was at least three parts composed of a growl.

“`Hooroo! whirr-r-hach! musha, but it’s like the cratur o’ Vesoovious all alive-o ­in me head.  Av it don’t split up me jaw ­there ­ha ­och!’

“The giant stamped his foot with such violence that all the glasses, cups, and vials in the room rang again, and, clapping both hands over his mouth, he bent himself double in a paroxysm of agony.

“I felt a strange mixture of wild delight and alarm shoot through me.  The chance had come in my way, but in anticipating it I had somehow always contemplated operating on some poor boy or old woman.  My thoughts had never depicted such a herculean and rude specimen of humanity.  At first, he would not believe me capable of extracting a tooth; but I spoke with such cool self-possession and assurance ­though far from feeling either ­that he consented to submit to the operation.  For the sake of additional security, I seated him on the floor, and took his head between my knees; and I confess that when seated thus, in such close proximity to his rugged as well as massive head, gazing into the cavern filled with elephantine tusks, my heart almost failed me.  Far back, in the darkest corner of the cave, I saw the decayed tooth ­a massive lump of glistening ivory, with a black pit in the middle of it.  Screwing up my courage to the utmost, I applied the key.  The giant winced at the touch, but clasped his hard hands together ­evidently prepared for the worst.  I began to twist with right good-will.  The man roared furiously, and gave a convulsive heave that almost upset myself and the big chair, and disengaged the key!

“`Oh, come,’ said I, remonstratively, `you ought to stand it better than that! why, the worst of it was almost over.’

“`Was it, though?’ he inquired earnestly, with an upward glance, that gave to his countenance in that position a hideous aspect. `Sure it had need be, for the worst baits all that iver I drained of.  Go at it again, me boy.’

“Resolving to make sure work of it next time, I fixed the key again, and, after getting it pretty tight ­at which point he evidently fancied the worst had been again reached ­I put forth all my strength in one tremendous twist.

“I failed for a moment to draw the tusk, but I drew forth a prolonged roar, that can by no means be conceived or described.  The Irishman struggled.  I held on tight to his head with my knees.  The chair tottered on its legs.  Letting go the hair of his head, I clapped my left hand to my right, and with both arms redoubled the strain.  The roar rose into a terrible yowl.  There was a crash like the rending of a forest tree.  I dropped the instrument, sprang up, turned the chair on the top of the man, and cramming it down on him rushed to the door, which I threw open, and then faced about.

“There was a huge iron pestle lying on a table near my hand.  Seizing it, I swayed it gently to and fro, ready to knock him down with it if he should rush at me, or to turn and fly, as should seem most advisable.  I was terribly excited, and a good deal alarmed as to the possible consequences, but managed with much difficulty to look collected.

“The big chair was hurled into a corner as he rose sputtering from the floor, and holding his jaws with both hands.

“`Och! ye spalpeen, is that the way ye trait people?’

“`Yes,’ I replied in a voice of forced calmness, `we usually put a restraint on strong men like you, when they’re likely to be violent.’

“I saw the corners of his eyes wrinkle a little, and felt more confidence.

“`Arrah, but it’s the jawbone ye’ve took out, ye goormacalluchscrowl!’

“`No, it isn’t, it’s only the tooth,’ I replied, going forward and picking it up from the floor.

“The amazement of the man is not to be described.  I gave him a tumbler of water, and, pointing to a basin, told him to wash out his mouth, which he did, looking at me all the time, however, and following me with his astonished eyes, as I moved about the room.  He seemed to have been bereft of the power of speech; for all that he could say after that was, `Och! av yer small yer cliver!’

“On leaving he asked what was to pay.  I said that I’d ask nothing, as he had stood it so well; and he left me with the same look of astonishment in his eyes and words of commendation on his lips.”

“Well, that was a tremendous experience to begin with,” said Mr Durant, laughing; “and so it made you a doctor?”

“It helped.  When my father came home I presented him with the tooth, and from that day to this I have been hard at work; but I feel a little seedy just now from over-study, so I have resolved to try to get a berth as surgeon on board a ship bound for India, Australia, China, or South America, and, as you are a shipowner and old friend, I thought it just possible you might be not only willing but able to help me to what I want.”

“And you thought right, Stanney, my boy,” said the old gentleman heartily; “I have a ship going to sail for India in a few weeks, and we have not yet appointed a surgeon.  You shall have that berth if it suits you.”

At this point they were interrupted by the entrance of a servant maid with the announcement that there was a man in the lobby who wished to see Mr Durant.

“I’ll be back shortly,” said the old gentleman to Stanley as he rose; “go to the drawing-room, girls, and give Mr Hall some music.  You’ll find that my Katie sings and plays very sweetly, although she won’t let me say so.  Fanny joins her with a fine contralto, I believe, and Queeker, too, he sings ­a ­a what is it, Queeker? ­a bass or a baritone ­eh?”

Without waiting for a reply, Mr Durant left the room, and found Morley Jones standing in the lobby, hat in hand.

The old gentleman’s expression changed instantly, and he said with much severity ­

“Well, Mr Jones, what do you want?”

Morley begged the favour of a private interview for a few minutes.  After a moment’s hesitation, Mr Durant led him into his study.

“Another loan, I suppose?” said the old gentleman, as he lit the gas.

“I had expected to have called to pay the last loan, sir,” replied Mr Jones somewhat boldly, “but one can’t force the market.  I have my sloop down here loaded with herrings, and if I chose to sell at a loss, could pay my debt to you twice over; but surely it can scarcely be expected of me to do that.  I hear there is a rise in France just now, and mean to run over there with them.  I shall be sure to dispose of ’em to advantage.  On my return, I’ll pay your loan with interest.”

Morley Jones paused, and Mr Durant looked at him attentively for a few seconds.

“Is this all you came to tell me?”

“Why, no sir, not exactly,” replied Jones, a little disconcerted by the stern manner of the old gentleman.  “The sloop is not quite filled up, she could stow a few more casks, but I have been cleaned out, and unless I can get the loan of forty or fifty pounds ­”

“Ha!  I thought so.  Are you aware, Mr Jones, that your character for honesty has of late been called in question?”

“I am aware that I have got enemies,” replied the fish-merchant coldly.  “If their false reports are to be believed to my disadvantage, of course I cannot expect ­”

“It is not my belief in their reports,” replied Mr Durant, “that creates suspicion in me, but I couple these reports with the fact that you have again and again deceived me in regard to the repayment of the loans which you have already received at various times from me.”

“I can’t help ill-luck, sir,” said Morley with a downcast look.  “If men’s friends always deserted them at the same time with fortune there would be an end of all trade.”

“Mr Jones,” said the other decidedly, “I tell you plainly that you are presumptuous when you count me one of your friends.  Your deceased brother, having been an old and faithful servant of mine, was considered by me a friend, and it is out of regard to his memory alone that I have assisted you.  Even now, I will lend you the sum you ask, but be assured it is the last you shall ever get from me.  I distrust you, sir, and I tell you so ­flatly.”

While he was speaking the old gentleman had opened a desk.  He now sat down and wrote out a cheque, which he handed to his visitor, who received it with a grim smile and a curt acknowledgment, and instantly took his leave.

Mr Durant smoothed the frown from his brow, and returned to the drawing-room, where Katie’s sweet voice instantly charmed away the memory of the evil spirit that had just left him.

The table was covered with beautiful pencil sketches and chalk-heads and water-colour drawings in various stages of progression ­all of which were the production of the same fair, busy, and talented little hand that copied the accounts for the Board of Trade, for love instead of money, without a blot, and without defrauding of dot or stroke a single i or t!

Queeker was gazing at one of the sketches with an aspect so haggard and savage that Mr Durant could not refrain from remarking it.

“Why, Queeker, you seem to be displeased with that drawing, eh?  What’s wrong with it?”

“Oh, ah!” exclaimed the youth, starting, and becoming very red in the face ­“no, not with the drawing, it is beautiful ­most beautiful, but I ­in ­fact I was thinking, sir, that thought sometimes leads us into regions of gloom in which ­where ­one can’t see one’s way, and ignes fatui mislead or ­or ­”

“Very true, Queeker,” interrupted the old gentleman, good-humouredly; “thought is a wonderful quality of the mind ­transports us in a moment from the Indies to the poles; fastens with equal facility on the substantial and the impalpable; gropes among the vague generalities of the abstract, and wriggles with ease through the thick obscurities of the concrete ­eh, Queeker?  Come, give us a song, like a good fellow.”

“I never sing ­I cannot sing, sir,” said the youth, hurriedly.

“No! why, I thought Katie said you were attending the singing-class.”

The fat cousin was observed here to put her handkerchief to her mouth and bend convulsively over a drawing.

Queeker explained that he had just begun to attend, but had not yet attained sufficient confidence to sing in public.  Then, starting up he suddenly pulled out his watch, exclaimed that he was quite ashamed of having remained so late, shook hands nervously all round, and, rushing from the house, left Stanley Hall in possession of the field!

Now, the poor youth’s state of mind is not easily accounted for.  Stanley, being a close observer, had at an early part of the evening detected the cause of Queeker’s jealousy, and, being a kindly fellow, sought, by devoting himself to Fanny Hennings, to relieve his young friend; but, strange to say, Queeker was not relieved!  This fact was a matter of profound astonishment even to Queeker himself, who went home that night in a state of mind which cannot be adequately described, sat down before his desk, and, with his head buried in his hands, thought intensely.

“Can it be,” he murmured in a sepulchral voice, looking up with an expression of horror, “that I love them both?  Impossible.  Horrible!  Perish the thought ­yes.”  Seizing a pen: ­

  “Perish the thought
  Which never ought
  To be,
  Let not the thing.”

“Thing ­wing ­bing ­ping ­jing ­ring ­ling ­ting ­cling ­dear me! what a lot of words with little or no meaning there are in the English language! ­what will rhyme with ­ah!  I have it ­sting ­”

  “Let not the thing
  Reveal its sting
  To me!”

Having penned these lines, Queeker heaved a deep sigh ­cast one long lingering gaze on the moon, and went to bed.